So most of the experiments I’ve been conducting recently have turned out to be horrible failures! The army of Android Robo-Gohs that I’ve been secretly building to regularly update this blog are obviously nowhere near performance standards.

They don’t even look like me! (They look more like a cross between Charlie Brown and a treadmill)
I tried to program them to blog for me, but all they want to do is watch reality television shows and “chat up babes online”. I am SO dissapointed in these incredibly lazy and incompetent robots that I spent so much time and money on to do my work for me. Unbelievable, and totally unacceptable!

I did, however, complete construction of the Nakamuratron 2006 Instant Songwriting Machine/bottle opener/soupmaker that I’ve kept secret until this very momentous moment. It has 5 quadruple core processors that can write masterfully crafted songs in gregorian chant-style whilst simultaneously generating hundreds of gallons of minestrone soup. Unfortunately, I cannot post any of the beautiful songs (or soups) online- the copyright laws for songs/recipes written by robot-chefs is complicated… and I don’t want any more tension than there already is in my kitchen. You know how it is.

Last, but not least- I have recently discovered how to transform myself into the form of: vapor. That explains why my presence on this website has been so thin (and runny) I apologize, but if I tried updating more often I’d short out the computer. Duh.

I will be appearing soon in a mist near you soon. When you see/feel me, try not to get all excited and inhale me. Stay tuned for more incredible updates… (but don’t hold your breath)